We Don’t Give a Damn for the Whole State of Michigan

This fall has kicked some serious ass. First I got to see Madonna in Chicago and then I managed to make it to the Ohio State vs. Michigan game at the Horseshoe. That’s two things crossed off my bucket list in just two months! Next up is taking off work for two months to backpack through Europe. That may take a little bit more time, but I did apply for a passport last week just in case someone decides to whisk me away somewhere.

I have been wanting to see the Buckeyes lay the smack down on the Michigan Wolverines at home for a really long time now. As soon as I moved to Columbus this past January, I started putting feelers out there for tickets knowing that this is always our biggest game of the the year. As of Friday night when Meg flew in from Chicago for the game we still didn’t have tickets and were pretty much banking on tailgating the entire time.

Saturday was cold. Really cold. A high of 23 degrees, in fact. We woke up at 4:30AM, layered on the Under Armor and thick wool sweaters and headed down to Four Kegs Bar & Grille for kegs and eggs. Beers were literally $1 and the shots of tequila I treated us to were only $3. By 7AM parking was scarce and people were already out in full effect. As the excitement continued to swell, Meg was welcoming the idea of scalping us some tickets.

We headed down to Heiny Gate, had a few beers, and then counted up our cash. $120 was what we were looking at without having to head back to an ATM. Meg stayed behind to polish off a few more beers while I walked up and down Lane Avenue seeing what kind of I deal I could conjure up. $150 a ticket. $250 for a pair. It wasn’t looking good.

Now the brothers peddling the tickets love a girl with some hips so obviously I was negotiating prices that the old dudes couldn’t get close to, but we were still way beyond our $120 cap. I headed back to Heiny Gate to tell Meg it wasn’t looking good. We decided to head to another tailgate as soon as kickoff happened and they went to a commercial break. As we walked back down Lane Avenue, one of the scalpers asked me if I still needed tickets. “Sure do.” “Well what you got?” “I told you man, $120 for a pair..” “Can’t you just throw me another $40 and we will call it a deal?” “Nope, don’t have the cash.” “Alright, here you go.”

He handed us two tickets for the student section in the south end zone – Section B and two student ID’s that have to be scanned upon entering. I was going to be Amber, Meg was Thomas.

Tickets to this game were going for around $400 at the beginning of the season. The Ohio State and Michigan rivalry is one of the greatest in all of college football. Ohio State has beaten them for the past four years, but this year with two losses on the Buckeye’s record, not to mention coming off of two back-to-back National Championship losses, and the Wolverines who won’t be making to bowl game for the first time in thirty-three years (breaking the longest streak in college team bowl appearance history), the ticket prices were dropping. A week ago you could find single seats for as little as $100 on TicketStumbler. But to score two seats in the student stands for $60 a piece is virtually unheard of. Clearly, the key was to wait until after kickoff when the scalpers are desperate to unload (and have a ghetto booty). It’s a bummer we missed the Script Ohio and all other pre-game traditions, but we got in and saw our beloved Bucks hammer on the Wolverines which was nothing short of an amazing experience.

There were maybe 300 Michigan fans in attendance. I barely saw any during the entire tailgate. When one was spotted, everyone began to chant “ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE.” Personally, I find this to be super annoying. It’s one thing to sport an “I LOVE APP STATE” shirt but it’s quite another to be totally obnoxious. No wonder Ohio State fans are known as the worst and most hated among all big teams. It’s not like this title is unfair… have you seen the videos from the 2001 and 2002 riots when we actually won and still proceed to burn cars and trash the city? What ever happen to the love of the game? Lets work on having some class, mkay? Luckily, officials said that this year was one of the most controlled and tame Michigan games to be hosted in the great city of Columbus.

Anyway, now it looks like we are onto the CapitalOne Bowl to take on Georgia. Let’s hope the Bucks can come out of this with a win. We need to redeem ourselves.

Additionally, I would like to extend a huge congratulations to Big Ten Champs, the Penn State Nittany Lions. I don’t really know what happened with Iowa, but as we know, no team is infallible and you guys certainly deserved a great year. Best of luck at the Rose Bowl! I will be cheering you on from a far off distance, JoePa style.